Stacey's PEEVE O'THE WEEK!!!

Welcome to a special Super Tuesday edition of THE PEEVE! So, maybe it's not going to be exactly Super, but it IS Tuesday! Which means it isn't Monday, which means I'm late writing this again... it's just, when you can warp the space time continuum like I can, it's awfully hard to keep track of the days... but no matter. We have more important things to discuss. Very serious, important things, things that can suck every ounce of kindness and caring out of us, and destroy our very lives! VAMPIRES!! No, not really, all you need is a wooden stake and some garlic and you're pretty much done. Some awesome kung fu type skills will probably speed things up a bit. No, I'm talking about something much, much more horrible, and completely impervious to your pathetic garlic-wavings-about, I'm talking about POLITICS! And POLITICIANS! And the TWO PARTY POLITICAL SYSTEM!!!!
[note: from here on out, the author has absolutely no idea what she is talking about, having barely scraped her way through high school Poli Sci, probably by cheating, and having received a LOOOOOW "D" in College Poli Sci, a worse grade than any other class except that Algebra class she stopped going to which forever damaged her GPA and haunts her to this very day. However, this is a perfectly acceptable angle from which to come at this topic, because politics is nothing but a lot of people w/REALLY strong opinions trying to pass them off as 100% truth-in-a-bucket. So, read on with confidence!!]
I FIRMLY believe that there is NOTHING so divisive in American society as politics. Especially given the 2 party system w/parties @ both extremes. Now I sincerely hope that ALL Democrats don't sit around gathering welfare, smoking pot and giving each other "high fives" when they hear somebody got an abortion, and ALL Republicans don't sit around telling n___er jokes 'til it's time for their 2'o'clock "club a seal" break!!! But that's the kind of stuff one camp wants you to think about the other camp. It's just like a war, if you can depersonalize the other guy, call him a Jap or a Gook or a Yankee (OR a Vampire, think about it!) then you don't have to think of him as a person, but as an unthinking, unfeeling enemy that you MUST defeat or we'll all go to Hell in a handbasket.
Of course there are always zealots in every cause, but I'm thinking most people are probably pretty moderate about everything. Then along come the candidates, generally THE most Conservative and Liberal schmucks they can find, and suddenly you have to find some doofus to get behind. Why can't we have better options than this, like, the "Middle of the Road" party?? (This is not a hypothetical question, I don't know. See note above.) So what if they split the vote 3 ways? Just figure out a way to pick a winner anyway. I'm tired of all this crap already, and we've still got almost a year to go. Yeeeeeesh. And who wants to vote for somebody who WANTS to be a politician, anyway? Wouldn't you have to be a little bit power hungry and a lot completely bonkers to WANT to be President???
It may therefore come to you as no surprise that my favourite Superbowl commercial--no, make that Superbowl moment, I mean, did you watch that pile o'poop?--was the bi-partisan Coke commercial EXACTLY BECAUSE they showed those 2 men of wildly different political leanings acting, not as politicians, but as MEN, drinking a Coke together. Not one of those Satanic dirty-poop-water PEPSI's, mind you, but a delicious, life affirming Coca-Cola. (Coke in '08!). Let us all say with these 2 brave men, "aaaaaaah!". (Yeah, the commercials all kinda sucked this year, didn't they?)
So, let us learn a lesson here today. See beyond your neighbor's "Obama" sign into his heart, See beyond your sister's "Huckabee" bumper sticker into her soul, and see through Salma Hayek's clothing if there's any way you can possibly arrange it.

RON PAUL '08!!