Stacey's PEEVE O'THE WEEK!!!

O.K., as promised, it's time for me to take off the proverbial kid gloves and just lay it ALL out there. I shouldn't be wearing kid gloves, of course, even proverbially, because they're made out of baby goats. But, since I am, I might as well tell you that they are the most delicate shade of shell pink, with tiny mother-of-pearl buttons up the side. Nice. But, enough nattering, and on to the rather shocking topic I have selected today, CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH WHITE ICING!!! What! you say, THIS is the controversy you promised, the post you said would sear our very souls? Well, actually, no. The thing is, I had forgotten that today was my birthday, and that I had already composed a very special post for that very occasion. So, all that exciting nonsense will just have to wait until next Monday, and you'll just have to come back again to read it. OOPS!!
So, on to today's scintillating topic. Where to begin? Let's say it's your birthday, and laid out before you like the proverbial World-as-Oyster, is a lovely, whitely-icinged cake. It looks beyond delicious, and you begin to salivate just thinking of that light, fluffy, sugary icing. But then-- terror strikes your very heart--what lies beneath? An equally delicate layer of spongy vanilla-ish-ness, OR...Chocolate?!!?? Dense, black as the heart of any murderous scoundrel, and horribly unmatched with the gentle flavors above.
Because THAT is the problem... it's like drinking a weak, fruity white wine with a burgundy stewed oxtail or something, it just clashes. Like eating clean, pure new snow along with a big clod of dirt. Now, if you look at a cake iced with chocolate icing, you have a 98% chance of getting a wonderful slice of cake, assuming someone hasn't insanely iced a strawberry or carrot cake with the stuff. But whenever you see that white expanse before you, you just can't know what you're getting until it's cut. The suspense is highly likely to kill you.
So, I beg of you, save the white icing for a yellow cake, a strawberry cake, maybe even that carrot cake. Chocolate cake NEEDS chocolate icing.
And in closing, just to show you how mean I am to baby goats, here's a little song I used to sing for Macchiato and Amelia when they were young and not big enough to sit on me and crush me instantly:

"These little goats are friends of mine,
I'd like to cook them with some salt and thyme
Just kiddin', Just kiddin', I'm just kiddin' around

These little goats are friends of mine,
I'd like to serve them with some bread and wine
Just kiddin', just kiddin', I'm just kiddin' around

These little goats are my best friends
and I'm gonna eat 'em when this song ends!
Just kiddin', just kiddin', I'm just kiddin' around!!!!"

Take that, Nickelback!!! Losers.