Well, here it is, my long hinted at yet as not realized post that will shake you up and make you say "Hell-O Aunt Bessie! And it's NOT about how this year I DON'T WANT TO GET FIRST PICK IN THE UNCLE RICO'S DRAFT!! AND EVEN IF I DID I WOULDN'T PICK L.T.!!!., either, as shocking as that might be. Today I will discuss my annoyance with FLAMINGLY EFFEMINATE GAY MEN!!!Yeah, that's what I said. Now, before you all go running off to cover all traceable links you may have to me as friend/lover/sister/former shoe-salesperson, please allow me to first defend my statement and then explain why I think I have developed this quirk.
In my defence, I believe I am well within my rights to make this statement. I have stated an annoyance for, not a hatred of, said gay men. Secondly, this is not an annoyance for ALL gay men, simply the flamingly effeminate ones. Thirdly, I in no way think there is anything "wrong" with being gay in the first place, as I believe that homosexuality is determined before birth thanks to one's particular genes, and therefore acting on those impu
lses is perfectly natural.In addition to that, NO-ONE, I don't think, would take umbrage about a post in which I lambasted girly-girls, or "metro-sexual" guys, and my complaint about these aforementioned gay men is the same as those would be. Nor do I think any of those groups, yes, EVEN those darn facial-getting "metros", should give half a crap about what I or anyone else thinks, and should go on acting any way they want to.
All in all it makes sense that I, as a bit of a "manly-girl", would hardly want to see a bunch of "girly-men" flitting about and making me look and feel even MORE manly!! What's with all this calling each other "ladies", "girls" or even, oddly enough, "bitches"? (I would, and HAVE, verbally lacerate(d) anyone who dared to call me that, even in jest.) No lesbians I have ever known, even the most "butch", called each other "dudes" or "boys"! Very Strange. And the whole giggling like a schoolgirl/gossiping constantly bit, as exhibited, say, on "Project Runway", is just the oddest thing to me (as it would be to the daughter of the kind of uber manly-man Dad that I have. He's the kind of guy that would duct tape his own arm back on after some power saw accident, and then finish the job.) And to be fair, I'm sure that the perfectly coiffed and delicate guy from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (Carson somebody?), for example, has no desire to watch my non- mani/pedi'd self stomping around his T.V. screen, wondering how many times I can get away with "Febreezing" my shirts before I ha
ve to wash them! (approximately 3).So, now I begin my explanation of why I find myself with this particular annoyance. No matter how hard I might try, I will never be "un petite fleur", more "mule de paquet". Even when I'm all fancied up, I pretty much feel like Jeremy Shockey in a dress. Except that he has better hair. And maybe a better tattoo, although mine is pretty cool too, just smaller. And really, being a girl in the first place is not the greatest thing ever, except for having boobs and the ability to wear awesome shoes, it pretty much sucks. Unless you want to go through the "amazing"(!?!??!?!) process of giving birth, I suppose. DO NOT WANT!!
So, in re-reading this, I have decided that it is not controversial at ALL, and that truly I have spent more time bashing myself than any FLAMINGLY EFFEMINATE GAY MAN, and that only the most annoyingly P.C. of people could have anything to say about this. And I'll bet, and I would LOVE to get a response on this, that even some gay men are annoyed with these guys, too.
So there it is, finally! Now I just have to hope Spence doesn't pull out "hatred of...gay men" as one of his big block quote deallys. Plllllbbttt.
2 comments:
I dunno...maybe it's just me, but I could watch "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" about once a week, I think. Maybe it's just the Hugo Weaving/Terence Stamp/Guy Pearce thing, though.
Good jeooooorrrrrb on the post. : )
I think my arm in that pic is looking about as buff as Mr. Shockey's. Actually, the movie I like is the one w/Patrick Swayze, "thanks for all the fishes Mrs. Doubtfire" or something like that. I'd say BY FAR that was his best role EVAH.
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