I could have...

had a fucking BABY, in nine months...but instead, I just made an episode of The Robert and Dave Show. Which, if you really think about it, is WAY better than a baby!

You Know What...

Don't think of it as, "Oh, how weird...I guess Spencer's too cheap to pay $70 a year now that Xtranormal is out of beta, so he switched over to these new even DUMBER looking Robert and Dave characters." Think of it instead as, "Wow! Spencer is totally REBOOTING the Robert and Dave franchise, just like that TV guy is doing with Star Trek! This should be TOTALLY cool! Plus, now maybe one of the episodes will be Kirk and Spock having sex! With each other!!!!"

Wow...

It's amazing how fast 3 weeks can go by when you're working 10 hours a day, every day...but that doesn't mean there aren't a few extra minutes left in there somewhere to crank out a NEW ROBERT AND DAVE!!!!!! Because...there are...I mean, I did one today, that's where I was going with that whole thing. Oh, just shut up and watch it. : )

You know...

I think I need to make an intro theme for Robert and Dave. I bet The Rembrandts are available by now, dontcha think?

Heh. Heh heh.

WHOOOOOOOO. *wipes away tear* Heh.

Man, I love making new R&D episodes.

Didja hear the news?

The Robert and Dave Show has been picked up by Comedy Central! It's going to run right after South Park.

In other (completely related) news, I am high on crack cocaine.

ANOTHER new Robert and Dave?

Why not? In this economy, we're blowing 'em out the doors! 2 for 1 special! Double your money back guarantee if not satisfied! May cause itching, rash, irritability, increased frequency in urinating, or explosive decompression (in space only).

New Robert and Dave?

New Robert and Dave! With Academy Awards pseudo-timeliness action!

You should go see "Synecdoche, New York"

Seriously, you should. I know that I am given to hyperbole on occasion, but this just might be the most real, most human movie ever made by an American director. I don't want to overreach myself since I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of movies from all over the world, but if this movie doesn't speak to you about life in a way that makes you hurt, I would be greatly, greatly surprised.

If anyone has seen it and wants to post their thoughts as comments, and we could have sort of a book club style discussion of it, I would love to, because I have tons of thoughts about it rolling around in my head after having seen it, but I can't sit and formulate them right now, and I don't know that anyone would be interested in reading them without having seen the movie.

So, in conclusion, go see it. You won't be sorry, or if you are sorry it will be for all of the right reasons, I think.

Hiatus

I think I'm going to take a little time off, at least from trying to post creative writing type stuff...everything seems like it comes out like I'm either depressed, or psychotic, or both, lately.

So, Stace, feel free to clear out some of your backlog of material that's just waiting for that final polish to be applied to it, and I'll try to chime in with some "real life" stuff now and then...let's see...

1. Work sucks
2. We have a couple of cute foster-foster puppies (we're just keeping them for a quarantine period for other foster parents because it's easier for us)
3. Work sucks

I think that about covers it! Let the hiatus begin!

Haiku, just for you

Summer Texas sun
saps the strength of better men
(and women) than me

Inspiration drought
leads to longish silences
on an empty blog

One would meekly crave
indulgence of his readers
plural implies hope

Is there more to tell
on "Your Voice is Everything"?
Talk amongst yourselves

ENOUGH WITH THE POETRY ALREADY!!!!

Yes, I can hear your thoughts through the ether, I just wanted to get those three things up there because Stacey was kind enough to transcribe them from written versions that I sent her literally years ago now...I guess I write poetry at about the same rate I write songs, maybe one a year, I just got started a little later. I think they all tend to have close to the same arc or something, I dunno, maybe I'll write a term paper on my own poetry and see if I can get a Master's or something out of it.

For those brave souls that are just checking in every once in a while to see when the goddamn fantasy football league is starting up again, yes, it will start up, it may be a few weeks yet just so we don't have an interminable two months between starting up the league and starting to actually play games. And if you weren't, or if you've never heard of fantasy football, what the hell's wrong with you? You should play, it's fun, post a comment on here and I'll hook you up. All the cool kids are doing it, it's like jumping off a bridge. Except at the end you aren't dead, you just wish half the guys in the NFL were.

SPANKED!!!!!!!

The Celtics are my new heroes and best friends!!! Not only did they beat the Lakers, they spanked them into oblivion and made them look stooooopid! I am soooooo happy!
Plus...they play great ball! They have crazy mad passing skillz and actually make their free throws! They're ... my God!...fun to watch!!!
Man, I'm having amazing sports watching luck! What yummy goodness can FOOTBALL hold in store!

Speaking of...Spence...when do the dreaded/longed for Uncle Rico's festivities begin? I'm almost recovered from last season and ready for my new fate. Almost!

A Miracle?

I may have witnessed a miracle over the last two days.

Two words: Exciting. Golf!?!?!?

That's all I'm saying. Discuss!

DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!

I've been foiled by the googlewebs...so Stacey and I thought we'd get all fancy-pantsy and get a real got-durned web address of our very own, The Karmic Desk, we thought, it'd be the ticket to huge readership, fame and fortune.

Unfortunately, somehow the process of registering a domain through Google itself didn't work for us, even though they promised it would be easier than falling off a greased pig that was standing on a log! Curse you, lady Technology, for your come-hither stare and your easy indifference to the human suffering that you yourself have created! Except that I guess we created you, meaning Technology, so the metaphor is not quite right there, somehow.

Nonetheless, if anyone out there has any idea what CNAME's are and/or how I can actually point my spanking new domain name to our pitiful, creaking old blog, there's a shiny new nickel in it for you! And by nickel, I mean absolutely nothing. And by THAT, I don't mean that I don't mean anything by it, I just mean you'll get absolutely nothing, which people seeking nirvana would seemingly greatly prefer to a nickel anyway, so just think of it as my way of helping you become enlightened. Although, to be honest, if I'm coming back to this planet through reincarnation, I think I'd rather take my chances for a while as somewhat lower lifeforms, what with the global warming and the potential for radiation and pollution and whatnot...how much wrong do you think I'd have to do in one lifetime to come back as a cockroach?

actual update!

Well, I got some good news today, the biopsy was all clear, so I'm good to go for now. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts!

Let Them Eat CAKE!!! Lots Of CAKE!!!

So, the big news, about the thing that may or may NOT have happened...
Well, it DID happen, and Amy and Walter got married!! They semi-eloped to the hills Memorial Day weekend, taking a small, elite force of aiders and abettors with them.
In case you don't know who the Hell I'm talking about, Amy is Nadi's sister, and Walter is some guy she met, who is a lawyer BUT A NICE LAWYER, and they have a cute dog named Goldie. The "hills" that they escaped to are formally known as "Crested Butte", and it's a beautiful place, as you can see from le photoes. So, here's some pics, take a look and eat a piece of cake in support of their union!

So: here's the happy couple on the way up to the site. They and 2 of the guests biked it, us and 2 of the guests hiked. It wasn't any faster either way, they just REALLY like to mountain bike. TOO much, some (me) might say.

Here's a picture of me w/ the flower girl/ring bearer Goldie! (Hey, stop staring at my John Lynch arms and look at the doggie!) Definitely the cutest/best behaved F.G./R.B. I've ever come across. Goldie, not John Lynch. In case you were confused.


Here they are on the way to seal the deal. I don't think we got an actual smooch shot, but that's yucky, anyway! That guy that married them is Walter's buddy Jim, he got ministerized over the internets so he could do it. I might do that, too, one of us kids has to make my dad proud, ya know.




And here's Nadi and I doing a little posing 4 teh cameeeera. I know, it's not OUR wedding, but this is a MEcentric blog and I gotta give the peoples what they want. And what they want is me in GIANT FLUFFY SHOES!!!!!


Happy Wedding Amy and Walter!!! No pressure to make lotsa babies now! Unless it takes some of the pressure off of me! Then you'd better get after it.

Hi there!

Hey everyone, just wanted to check in here with a non-update...apparently my endocrinologist likes to keep the suspense thing going as long as she can, because she insists that everyone come into her office to talk about biopsy results in person, whether positive, negative, or unclear, or whatever, so I'm having to wait until Friday to hear the results.

I'm trying to look at it like I'm in a giant funhouse ride at Astroworld, or something, Come ride the Death Defying Doctor Consultator X400! Thrill to the endless anticipation! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll become intimately acquainted with your insurance representative!

Also, I want to give a quick shout-out to Heidi, for putting up with me for THREE YEARS TODAY! Happy anniversary, sweetie!

Actually, I can't say that I spend that much time anticipating this Friday, because I'm still anticipating the NEW EXCITING POST that Stacey promised about 3 months ago. Tempus fugit, big chief. :P

And, on that note, later chumps.

Personal post!

I haven't been real big on putting up personal stuff on here, unless you count the 142,000 posts about one of our animals, but I thought I'd share a little medical stuff that I've been going through lately just to see if we can all get a good laugh out of it, or something.

So I've had hypothyroidism for a while now, and it seems as though now my thyroid gland has decided to ENLARGE itself (2nd level mage spell, I believe) to the point that my endocrinologist ordered an ultrasound on it. Turns out I have MULTI-NODULAR GOITER, which, besides sounding like I contracted it in 1845 along with consumption and the vapors, means that nodules have formed on my thyroid gland as well, the two largest of which they decided they wanted to biopsy!

Now, I don't know about you, but nothing puts a shine on my weekend like hearing the word "biopsy"! Luckily for me, my doctor said that the nodules in this type of situation are almost never cancerous, and even if they were, the treatment success rate would be extremely high, so there's almost no chance that this will affect me in any meaningful way, except for the fact that I'll be writing posts for a while going forward from debtor's prison, due to the huge bill even AFTER my insurance. I hope they have Macs in debtor's prison!

Anyway, yesterday I got poked in the neck a bunch of times with a really thin needle, and today I'm back at work, busting my hump for the almight dolla. Good times, good times. I'll keep everyone updated once I hear back about the results, of course, and feel free to post well wishes, homeopathic goiter remedies, tales from your OWN successful bouts with cancer (Randy, Lance Armstrong), or general derision at the fact that I've obviously already reached the age where I'm having "procedures" every couple of months. If I can just keep that daggum lumbago from acting up...

Road Trip!!

Heyya! Nadi and I went on a road trip to see my parents recently, and I took a few crummy photos. I wish I were more the photo-journalistic type, but I'm kinda not. So here's a few, just to give you an idea...
Turli and Trogdor are ready to go! This was Turli's first trip in the Scamp! Trog's peeking out to make sure everything is safe and we're not being attacked by food-stealers. That's his job.



This is how Turli rides in the truck, asleep in Nadi's lap. She weighs a thousand pounds... I wouldn't let her sleep on me very much when I was driving. But she's a big Daddy's Girl so she really didn't care.
This is probably the coolest place we camped. I think it was in Tennessee. Every Single Campsite was like this, where you camped out on a pier type thingy. Trog is usually REALLY scared of bridges and so on, but he was o.k. w/this for some reason.
So, that's really all I got. Told you I suck. There were poppies all along the freeway in N. Carolina but my pics of them are lame, you couldn't really stop so I had to resort to the old "take a shot out the window while you're driving" method, which doesn't really work. ah, what the hell, here's one of those. Good luck actually seeing a poppy!

There you have it! Just to tantalize you further... there MAY be some very exciting surprise photos up after this weekend... we shall see! And check back soon for my new column to (at least temporarily) replace my "Peeve O'the Week"... Guaranteed to shake your brain right outta your head. I just have to take a nap so I can write it...