Re-posted from Xmas 2006 (when we were in Baltimore)

...a half-animatronic Turducken of death and destruction...

So, this guy in my office decides that it would be a great idea to bring in this animatronic Santa that plays a bastardized version of that super-sucky 80s-90s pop song that basically goes "Y'all ready for this?", only modified (of course!) with cute references to Christmas and stuff! Like, Omigod!

So, of course, it ends up sitting on the desk of the receptionist, the next cube over from me. And, of course, every time a person comes into the office who has not yet been subjected to this hell-machine's demonic charms, someone stops them and regales them with, "Oh, you've just got to see this!!!! It's so funny!!!!!", and then unleashes the shit festival with the press of the appropriate button.

I am about 3 plays away from setting the fucking thing on fire, then finding the guy who brought it in and stuffing it up his ass, then setting HIM on fire, and finally finding the person responsible for this thing's existence and shoving the entire flaming wreckage up THEIR ass, like a half-animatronic Turducken of death and destruction.

And that, to me, is what Christmas is all about! Plus, Jesus was born! And peace on Earth!