Stacey's PEEVE O'THE WEEK!!!

O.K. peoples, here's the deal. I have no shortage of peevitudes to grouse on about, I assure you. Why, there's THE COWBOYS for example, or TEA!!!, or LENNY KRAVITZ, or even THE IDIOT COWBOYS WHO CAN SOMEHOW, IN SOME YOGI-LIKE MANEUVER, SHOOT THEMSELVES IN THE HEAD AND THE FOOT AT THE SAME TIME, SIMULTANEOUSLY LAMING AND KILLING THEMSELVES!!!. However, none of these topics seem as relevant to me, today, as THAT THING PAINTED ON THE PATRIOTS FIELD!!! Or, to be more accurate, THOSE THINGS, since they DO mock me in stereo. For those of you who don't follow football (fools), these things look, and I can describe them EXACTLY, they look like giant futuristic pipe wrenches with yellow markings coming out of the "business end" of the wrench, which I take to be symbolic of some sort of magnetic field. I can also describe exactly what they do NOT look like, which is: a musket, one of those tri-fold hats that oh, I dunno, PATRIOTS like to wear, even a super old fashioned pipe wrench from back in the glorious days of Patrick Henry (maybe?) and oh, whoever else. I also happen to know that the Pats have NOT changed their mascot to some sort of space age plumber, as just THIS weekend I saw their weird-ass giant-headed patriot type guy frolicking around with his tri-fold hat on. (There's GOT to be a name for those...). So I'm left with the question, "what the Hell ARE those damn things!!!!!!!". It's gotten so bad that I can't even concentrate on plays that take place in the middle of the field, I simply stare at those things, waiting for the magical moment when they reveal themselves to me, like the "young woman" or "old crone" in that old eye-teaser thingy.
So, to summarize, these things are super annoying and MUST BE STOPPED!!! Now, Nadi (who, as you in the posse (or those of you who simply keep up w/the latest celeb gossip) know, is my husband), thinks that I shouldn't be annoyed by, or gripe about, these things until I know what they are. What!?!? WHAT!?!? THAT'S THE POINT!!! It should be OBVIOUS what they are!!! Like the big old star in the middle of the Cowboy's field. Nice. SIMPLE.
Therefore, I leave it up to you, the merciful reader, to end my sorrows and just tell me what they are. So, PLEASE, ANSWER THIS POST and let me know "oh, it's so totally a bayonet if you look at it from the side" or "if you squint just a little it's a depiction of the Boston tea party! DUH!!!".
And always remember, "A frown is just a smile taking a nice relaxing nap that it REALLY doesn't want to get up from. ( Aaaahhh.)".