Stacey's PEEVE O'THE WEEK!!!

Teh FLU!!! I HAZ it!!! Or, at least, am getting over it!!! So today I mentioned this to my psychiatrist (just one of many people that a SupaStah must have in their entourage) and he somewhat chidingly informed me that I should really have gotten a flu shot, because this year the flu was manifesting quite nastily. I replied with ever so slight a smirk (ever so slight, I promise!) that I believe that the reason it's so bad is because everyone is getting flu shots. He TOTALLY misunderstood what I was saying and replied, (somewhat condescendingly, I must say), that oh, that wasn't true, flu shots do not weaken the immune system, they actually boost it, and what's causing it to be so much worse every year is that it's MUTATING!!! Well DUH! That's what I'm saying! That's right, I'm not here to gripe about the flu, I'm here to gripe about FLU SHOTS!!!! Why the HELL do you think the flu virus is suddenly mutating into more horrible forms?? Because we're screwing with it!! That's what I say. For many years now, since we've managed fairly modern medicinal practices, the flu has been an obnoxious inconvenience for everybody between the ages of like, 3 and 87. Now all of a sudden, it's imperative to get a damn flu shot every year. I wonder who's idea that is (pharmaceutical company)? In fact a year or so ago we had people panicking and all but rioting because there was a FLU SHOT SHORTAGE!!! They probably would have rioted if they could have gotten their flu-ey asses out of bed!!!! Well, I may be a grumpy old man, but I'm not yet an 87 year old grumpy old man, so the chance that I'm going to waltz my perfectly healthy ass into some infection-seethy clinic and purposefully PAY MONEY to get a SHOT when I don't absolutely have to... well, the Texans have a better chance of making it to the Superbowl, my friends. (Or, as Spellcheck suggests, the "Superb owl." That too.) .
Now, I know some of you might think I'm a little sketchy on the old science front, or that maybe I should pay more attention to what my Psychiatrist tells me, "no REALLY, listen to your Psychiatrist, Stacey! Not those OTHER voices!!" Well, I happen to have visual evidence, so call me a crazed conspiracy theorist all you want, but the evidence speaks for itself.
So stop getting flu shots!! Unless you're under 3, in which case- This Blog Is VERY BAD Thing To Read! Mommy Will Be Angry! You No Like Mommy When She Angry! STOP READING!!! Or, if you're over 87, in which case- my God! You probably have VERY FEW years left!! Why are you wasting them on this Blog!!!! Everyone else- the fate of the planet depends on YOU!!! And on the grey aliens (they're the most advanced type) choosing not to release flu strain OEX-32 on us, of course. Then were all done for.