Now that the Cowboys have finally traded for "Pacman" Jones, the cornerback they've long lusted after even though he has been arrested approximately 174 times in the past 3 years or so and is currently on an indefinite suspension from the NFL that the commissioner himself will end when he feels good and ready to do so, whom else will they soon be adding to their already volatile roster?
1. Brett Favre, just to give the media something to cover them about for the next, oh, I don't know, 33 years.
2. Michael Vick, to cover violence/sociopathy toward animals as well as humans.
3. Ray Lewis, so he can teach the younger guys how to have a posse that will REALLY protect you when you're out on the town.
4. Tank Johnson, because you can always use another huge testosterone laden guy with lots of guns and...wait, really? last season? oh...never mind.
5. Hitler...I think Jerrah Jones could sign him to one of those ceremonial one-day contracts like they did with Emmitt Smith, so he could retire forever as a Cowboy.
I really, REALLY hate Jerry Jones.
2 comments:
I think they should sign Shaq, because if the Suns are smart they'll get rid of his giant blubbery ass. And because he can be the guy singing rap songs in the back of the stretch Hummer (on the way to the club where someone will inevitably be shot or beaten up). And although he'll probably suck at football, at least he'll get to PLAY, which is probably more than we can say for Pacman Jones. Or Hitler, for that matter.
I agree that Dallas is further propagating their identity as "hirer of idiots". The Onion agrees http://www.theonion.com/content/news/terrell_owens_not_sure_about_this
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