Man, it's kind of hard to be peeve-ish when you're
vacationing in Vegas...if you're anyone but ME, of course! I've been inundated by annoying people and things ever since we got off the plane, or even BEFORE that, if you can even count all the annoying children running around the Denver airport, who OF COURSE were ALSO GOING TO VEGAS!!! But that's the story for a different peeve...what I really want to talk about today is WAYNE NEWTON! If you go to Wayne's homepage, you'll see Wayne looking all cheesy and bloated under his self-applied title, Mr. Las Vegas!
So then, if you're an experienced user of the internets like myself, you'll cruise over to the "Wayne's Schedule" part of the site, and guess how many times you'll see Wayne scheduled to play in Vegas this month? Well, I'll give you a hint, it's what everyone on Springer will tell you to drop and get yourself a hero! That's right it's ZERO times! The same number of times Marilyn Monroe and Harry Houdini are playing! And they're dead!
So, as you can clearly see, Wayne Newton is in fact just Mr. Wears a Tuxedo with the Tie Undone All the Time, and not Mr. Las Vegas. So now we're going to have to fill the empty entertainment-deprived hours going to things like Cirque du Soleil, or maybe Sigfried and Roy's Secret Garden, which just SOUNDS too creepy for words...were they trying to think of a title that made people more likely to think of "inappropriate touching" and "swimsuit area" than Michael Jackson's Neverland, for god's sake?
So, until next week, just remember NOT to come to Vegas for the cheap buffet anymore, because these hotels can't just run out Smoked Foie Gras Benedict with Asparagus in a Black Truffle/Tarragon/Pinot Grigio reduction for $3.99 a head!
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