FOUND DOCUMENT

Keynote address from the 27th Annual Convention of the International Association of Gravy Oblationists (IAGO). May 6-8, 1977. New Kismet, Montana.


Today I’d like to take the opportunity to talk about a subject that’s near and dear to all of our hearts, but one that we rarely dig out of Grandma’s junk drawer in the kitchen of our minds and actually give the time and attention that it is due: gravy.

That’s right, I’m crazy for gravy! And I don’t care who knows it! Sure, as far as comfort foods go, it’s not one that pops right to the tip of your gravy-covered tongue, but let’s just look at the ones that do…meatloaf? Yeah, OK. Mashed potatoes? Of course. Macaroni and cheese? Three for three, in my book.

But take just a second, step back just a small distance from your mental dinner table to get a little perspective, and you’ll soon see one common item acting almost as a glue, or paste, sticking all of these diverse foods together into one congealed lump of goodness, and that’s GRAVY!

So as you go from booth to booth over the next few days, sampling exotic gravies made with ingredients gathered from all over God’s beautiful creation, just remember that, prepared correctly and served appropriately, gravy can become the fat and gluten-based matrix, the culinary lingua franca that allows us all to sum up the entirety of human ambition in a simple dipping sauce. And that, friends, should be enough to inspire anyone.

Bon appétit!